Episode 10: Mojitos and Questionable Decisions

[elise]

Hey viewers wanna know what I'm doing right now?

Taking a bubble bath with a mojito in hand.

Wanna know what I'm not doing?

Scrambling to save my ass because I finally won a fucking challenge!!! Wooooo! 

So happy my plan to publicly declare which location I was at thus scaring anyone else from choosing it actually worked!

And now I could potentially do absolutely nothing tomorrow and still survive the round. Which is great because doing nothing is than best reward ever <3

[elise]

So theres a lot going on in the game.....

I've been hearing my name being thrown around so idek if I'll be around in time for the recommunication twist.

But if things go well tonight Tom and Jack will be dying tonight.

We'll see.

Provided I live, I'll do a more in depth confessional tonight

[elise]

Well shit.

That was only the most intense 24 hours ever.

Recap time!

So last Saturday I won immunity for the first time in forever. About time!



I knew I had a good shot at the win, though Justin was the only one I ended up working with for the challenge. We both agreed to give each other 50 shields and the advantage. It was his idea actually, but I'm glad we did because there were only 2 points difference between Albee and I. And I probably would have died of a panic attack if I wasn't immune this round.

Saturday night was very quiet. Like, too quiet. It appears most people were busy/needed a break from the insanity but everyone knew it was the calm before the storm. The only people who had voted were Justin and Jack for Patrick, but for whatever reason people had been setting their sights on getting Jack out. Albee had wanted Jack gone for forever, though interestingly Tom also expressed interest in getting Jack out as well. I believe he was worried Jack/Justin would be taken as goats to the end by Bryce, leaving him in the dust. Which is totally a legit fear, but not one that particularly concerned me.

The first person who brought the idea of a Jack vote to me was, predictably, Albee. Albee apparently thinks Jack is like, satan himself. Sure Jack is a little annoying, but he seems friendly enough. I've always been more bothered by his wishy washy voting habits than anything else. We did discuss the idea of "pulling a Sara" and getting everyone to vote against Jack while we vote against a threat. And by we, I mean I came up wi9th the idea and Albee immediately took credit for it. Gotta love Albee. <3

Anyways, the more interesting thing was that Albee said Patrick and Stephen were apparently trying to get people to go against me.

Sure I may have helped cause the downfalls of Eric, Sara, and Kate (and personally voted against Sara and Kate) but I actually did intend to help them this round. In fact, Albee and I are the only reason they're still here. They literally did nothing. I mean, Albee could be lying. But whatever, I'll take it as the truth because itll make me feel less bad when I eventually boot their asses.

I did need them this round, so the first thing I do is tell Stephen about the Jack vote AND revive the eerily quiet Pal Squad group. It doesn't really matter that they don't trust me. What matters is that keeping me around is their best chance of survival. Remember last round when Bryce offered me the worst deal ever in a Tom-Bryce-Nav-Me final four? Well I figured now would be an appropriate time to bring that up, and in turn Stephen confessed that Bryce has been plotting to get me out as well. A few minutes of complaining about how Bryce is controlling the game and I got them on board for a 2(patrick)-3(Jack)-4(Bryce) vote provided we'd be able to "flip Albee". All in a days work.

And so Patrick, Stephen and I ended up on call with Albee. We pitched him this plan, and by we I mean Stephen and Patrick attempted to and I had to help them so they didn't fuck it up. Cuz most of the time when Palermo tries to pitch a plan it ends up less like this:



And more like this:


Which is to say, very inadequate for the amount of effort put in. For example, Albee seemed on board with the plan, but wanted to target Tom instead of Bryce for whatever reason. As a negotiator, would you...

a) Agree to a Tom vote because Tom is a huge threat, and you need the swing vote to be on board in order to survive this round.

or

b) Ignore the swing vote, and just keep talking on and on about Bryce (presumably hoping that talking louder will make your opinion more valid.

Guess which one Patrick and Stephen did? I mean I get it, Bryce is at the top of my boot list. However, Tom is a huge threat and if Albee doesn't agree to this then you all are fucked. Sure Albee probably has a deal with Bryce, but cant do much about that now. I'd rather take out tom than leave both mega threats in the game to deal with in the future.

However, by some miracle we managed to get everyone on board in time. Votes locked in, everyone ready.... and then Justin shows up. Bryce tells him about the Jack vote (as do I, since if he already knows I might as well gain some trust by telling him bryce switched it to jack and I was "unhappy" with this.) And so, the vote ties and I have to go through one of the worst hours of my life.



Tom immediately calls me super mad. He had done nothing but defend me all game, sure he wouldn't have voted out Bryce but that doesn't mean he wouldn't have been okay with it, how could I betray him blah blah blah. It was really uncomfortable. Guess that ruins our plans to hang out in October.


^Dramatic interpretation

Meanwhile, Bryce was yelling at me about how I'm the number one threat now, Nav was angry that I didn't tell him, and justin was just confused. FML. I mean, it's not like I didn't expect this to happen, it just always sucks when it does. Who likes to get yelled at for a straight hour even when you know you totally deserve it.

Well Tom was voted out anyways, which means I have major damage control to do with Na/Justin/Bryce. Fortunately, I had at least another few hours of safety because I won the coconut chop challenge! Yay me!!! Once again it came down to myself and Albee. And once again I was so happy I was immune because the hour of paranoia that ensued was awful.


^ Me, always

Everyone knew that Bryce was playing an idol. What we didn't know was a) who Jack was voting, b) who Bryce was playing the idol on or c) who anyone was voting for that matter. Everyone was trying to bluff and fake each other out. Nav and Justin asked me to flip on Patrick. Jack basically yelled for the entire hour (and ended up siding with the people who literally voted him out 5 min earlier. Dumbass.). It ended with Bryce and Albee cutting a deal, Bryce playing his idol for no reason, and Jack unanimously being booted. 

In other words, basically the most stressful unanimous vote of all time. 

However, I survived. Really, that's all that matters. Things are getting tricky though as the numbers get smaller and smaller. Not to mention recommunication has a far better chance of hurting me than helping me (you know, seeing as I voted against every single one of them. This twist is not good gameplay friendly). Not to mention this round raised my visibility a ton. I'm already far more visible a target than any other game I played (even with out some guy named Clayton publicly posting that I won three games on the facebook page). Being visible has its advantages, but it also worries me. I guess anything could happen. Tom went from frontrunner to dead in less than 3 hours. I dunno if that will make me worry more as I overthink everything or less as no matter what I do I have very little control.

I dunno why I even ask. I already know the answer is overthink everything to the point of insanity.

^My future.

Maybe I should go on facebook, or check my emails as an escape from the stress of orgs. 

Oh look! A new message! I'm sure its something nice from one of my friends, and not some crazy guy from an org trying to harass me. 

SIGH. Its hard being me sometimes -_-

[notstephen]

I've decided to make your life harder and write you a crazy letter fan-mail as well. I bet people like Anthony "Classy Hat Wearing Member of Society" Demott and Jacob "Jacob "Jacob Harpel" Harpel" Harpel don't do nice things like this for you! Here goes nothing.

Please play this in the background, it is super important. 



Dear Slim Elise I wrote you, but you still ain't callin'
I left my cell, my pager and my home phone skype, aim, and facebook at the bottom
I sent two letters back in autumn, you must not've got em
There probably was a problem at the post office with your internet connection or something
Sometimes I scribble addresses type usernames too sloppy when I jot em
But anyways, fuck it, what's been up man, how's your daughter ORG going?
My girlfriend's pregnant joining ORGs too, I'm 'bout to be a father merge tribe member
If I have a daughter make merge and get to name my tribe, guess what I'mma call her?
I'mma name her Bonnie AnthonyDemottopia
I read about your Uncle Ronnie too, I'm sorry
I had a friend kill himself over some bitch who didn't want him
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground shit that you did with Skam
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the shit you did with Rawkus too, that shit was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this man, hit me back
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan


*too lazy to edit the rest of this just pretend I'm throwing in a wicked nonsensical freestyle at this point

[jmoney]

Jul 28, 2015 2:49:55 GMT -5 notstephen said:

 Jacob "Jacob "Jacob Harpel" Harpel" Harpel

I don't go by this anymore you bag of dicks.

[elise]

Dear Stephen, I meant to write you sooner but I've just been busy
You said your tribe is merging now, is it already jury?
Look, Anthony's (probably) flattered you would call your merge tribe that
You should ask him for an autograph,
Just like Gary Hawkins said
I'm sorry you didn't play this season, I musta missed you
Great rappers should be allied, up to even final 2
Then again what's with this challenge being way too hard to do?
I say that shit just clowning brandon
c'mon - how fucked up is you?
I got some issues Stephen, I think I need some counseling
to help save my ass from being voted out by all these morons
And what's this shit about this making my life harder?
This letter is the first (from an org) thats not cursing me out
I really thank you and the others for reading all this
I'm sorry I cant rap better (or even basic shit like rhyme or match syllables. Oops)
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before Im blindsided, I think that I'll be doing just fine
if I relax a little, I'm glad you are a fan Stephen
You are so cool!!! Try to understand, that Im a huge Eminem fan
I hope I dont let you down to do some crazy shit
I seen this one vote at tribal a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and threatened to blow up the whole game
he was with his girlfriend in Aruba, and she paid for the whole trip
But he wanted to break up, to fuck the u of m girls too
Come to think about it, his name was... it was Andrew.
Lmao.

(The real slim shady I am not. I tried.)

Thanks for the letter Stephen!! Made my day

[notstephen]

10000 mixtapes sold